Thursday, December 9, 2010

a pledge & an update

{background image via print&pattern}

after numerous discussions (especially with justin), very much personal contemplation (over the years), and stress levels beyond that which is manageable... i have decided i am a person who puts too much on her plate.

i am definitely not saying that this characteristic is 100% bad. a person who puts too much on her plate is also a person with a thirst for life and experience. a person who wants to do everything, learn everything, and be everywhere.

but sometimes being that person pays a toll. that person becomes exhausted, grumpy, sloppy, and pretty much every other bad adjective you can think of (well... that might be a stretch). but you get what i mean: being a person with too much on my plate has forced me to become less than my best self. which, frankly, just isn't acceptable (to me). i want to come home from work and think, 'i've just done the best job i could for the past eight hours. i'm proud of the work i did today.' i want to come home from school and think, 'i have really learned a lot tonight; i feel like i am really getting somewhere and preparing for what i'd like to do with my life.' i want to come home from a social event and think, 'not only did i have a lovely time, i feel like i brought something to the table as far as personality and entertainment goes.' 

that is why i am resolving to only put so much on my plate that i will be able to do everything to the best of my abilities. this means re-learning how to say no, re-learning that sometimes i just need to go to sleep instead of reading 100 blog updates in google reader, re-learning that i can't read my book, study for my test, work out for two hours, go shopping, get coffee with a friend, and watch movies on the couch with justin, all in one night, after i get off work at 5:30. when i'm around others, i want to be cheerful, not half-asleep. 

so i'm just going to have to limit what i do. prioritize: a word that's not generally in my vocabulary. and then, simply wish that i am doing what i am supposed to be doing. and doing it the best i possibly can. only then will i truly believe i'm making my best effort. 

2 comments:

Jenny Moreau said...

You put in words what i have been trying to put in words but couldn't. I feel I suffer for exactly the same disorder.

I completely promote this lifestyle adjustment!

Stefany said...

I feel exactly the same way sometimes. I think I can definitely over burden myself with too much and it makes me feel so stressed and overwhelmed. I had dinner with my friend a couple of weeks ago and I felt that I was only there in body but my brain was asleep. This will def be a resolution of mine for 2011!! xx