Monday, September 14, 2009

keeping ahold of what you just let go.. you're just somebody that i used to know..

i toe the line between being super happy & super depressed every single day. i know that's normal, but that doesn't make the 'lows' feel any better. i know i've been a needy friend lately, & i'm sorry for that. i've pretty much put my fate in the hands of my friends (2 in particular) as of late. i've been met with endless support, & that makes me oh so happy. as i was driving to work today, i thought about how one friend had told me she's a dreamer & how working a desk job will never fulfill her. i caught a bit of that today for myself. the rain was falling, the music was playing, & all i wanted to do was drive somewhere far away, where i know new people & new places are waiting for me. i feel so much younger than i did a mere month ago.. and three months ago feels like ages passed. and the weird thing is, a month ago is when i was turning older. is it possible to feel younger than you did a year ago? i feel like years have been taken off me. but at the same time, i feel guilty for this joy. what have i been doing? was everything i thought i felt one big lie?
i miss you, but it's a little bit.